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Blood Theatre (1984)

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Blood Theatre — not to be confused with 1973’s Theatre of Blood starring Vincent Price — is Halloween movie #16.
A horror-comedy which somehow manages to bungle both to such extreme degrees that it makes for a mostly tedious viewing experience.
Blood Theatre is by no means good. It is barely watchable. The opening sequence shows some real promise as it is clearly the only sequence that was designed to any thought whatsoever. And, obviously, the director ended up with 16+ credits of varying quality/merit. So y’know… that’s enough.
Y’all know the story: a traditional theatre experiences a macabre massacre, is closed, and (decades later) the owners of the establishment offer $25,000 to anyone who will open it at as a movie theater house.
And you knowwww some enterprising sleazy individual is up to that task because #80s.
Shenanigans abound.
Light on plot. Heavy on… look it’s a film directed by a 21 year old white dude with the craftsmanship of at least a 22 year old white dude. That director, Rick Sloane, went on to make a classic camp B-movie called Hobgoblins.
What do ya get?
Plentiful cigarette smoking:
Of course, the … movie theater… employee… locker… room.
Consumption of fine literature.
And it’s the 80s so… cheerleaders.
You get every movie theater related death you can imagine:
Electrocution via projector, ticket booth stabbage, decapitation, burning film-based suffocation, trapped inside… *sighs heavily* a popcorn machine cooking a person, and so…so much more.
B-movie legend-of-sorts Mary Woronov has the stand-out performance (if such a thing exists). She gives it her all to make it watchable.
Some style is on display. It’s… not great.
Released on VHS as Movie House Massacre.
A restored version is bafflingly currently streaming on Amazon Prime and totally should be skipped.
Not worth it.
Two recommendations for alternative location-based B-movie viewing: the far-superior Chopping Mall (1986) and… let’s go with Blood Diner (1987)

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